The Missing Years
by Angylinni
Summary: What happens between the end of T3 and the beginning of T4, how did John Connor and Kate Brewster go from being two people who barely knew each other to being married and each being the others world?
1. Chapter 1

John Connor.

Scruffy, dirty and far too thin, the boy-not-yet-a-man who was destined to be the savior of the human race. Looking at him now, one would be hard pressed to believe that anyone would do what he said, but if the Terminator were to be believed, people would not only follow his orders, but they would do so with fervent devotion, believing absolutely that he was right, even to the point of giving up their own lives for the cause.

The radio crackled to life and he spoke to everyone that came on, telling them what had happened and to try to stay safe and keep in contact. Taking a deep breath, she let it run out slowly, the adrenaline rush from the last hour fading swiftly, exhaustion rapidly taking its place. This place had to have coffee somewhere; it seemed to have everything else. Leaving John to man the radio, because she wouldn't have known what to say anyway, she went to check out their new home. Glancing once more over her shoulder, she could see him hunched over the microphone, coordinating survivors and making plans. Plans that was a laugh, Skynet controlled everything, could get to anyone, even them deep in this bunker. How could they make up a code a computer couldn't crack?

Shaking her head, she resumed walking, going into the glassed in enclosure of a park, filled with trees of every kind and further back, what looked to be a huge farm. Unable to resist the pull of the trees, she walked slowly through the small grove, running her hands lightly along the trunks. Tears began filling her eyes and when she couldn't see straight anymore, she fell to her knees and cried, sobbing and tearing at the grass beneath her feet at the unfairness of it all. "Why?" she sobbed, laying down on the grass.

She wasn't sure how long she laid there, tears slowly drying on her face, but it was long enough, at least to get her through the next few hours. Scowling, she sat up. People were dying outside and here she sat, crying over something she couldn't change. Pushing herself to her feet, she walked slowly out of the park to explore the rest of the compound.

A library, several small apartments, a big barracks and a food locker that stretched as long as a football field and about as wide, all carved out of the solid bedrock of the mountain. She stepped into the food locker, her mouth dropping open as she stared at the stockpiles of freeze dried pouches, MRE's and several huge tanks of water that were slowly rotating to maintain their freshness. At least they wouldn't starve.

~*~

John found her just as the coffee started percolating. Kate was up on tiptoe, searching the cabinets for mugs when he cleared his throat, startling her.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you," he said sheepishly, stepping back and lowering the hands he'd held out to catch her if she'd stumbled. "I followed the smell."

"You must be starving," she said, reaching back up to grab two of the mugs she'd found.

John chuckled. "I'm always hungry."

"Scott was …" Her voice trailed off, hot tears stinging her eyes.

"I can cook," he said quickly into the awkward silence. "I ate a lot of MRE's growing up."

Kate turned around, wiping her eyes on her sleeve, grimly realizing how dirty it was. "That sounds good, I'm going to go hunt down some clean clothes, what size do you wear?"

John glanced down at his torn and filthy clothes. "Uh, medium I guess," he said, shrugging.

Mustering a smile, she poured herself a cup of coffee. "I'm sure I'll find something that'll work," she said, brushing by him and heading for the door. "MRE's are in the next room over, along with the rest of the food," she said as she walked out of the kitchen.

"Great," he said, going to the sink to wash his hands. They'd need to do a complete inventory, but right now, food was sounding really good.

~*~

"What did you get?" John asked as he took the seat across from her in the cavernous dining area.

Kate pulled the lid off of her circular platter and smiled, inhaling the savory smelling steam rising from it. "Spaghetti," she said, picking up her fork, "you?"

John pulled the lid back on his own meal. "Salisbury steak."

"Yuck," Kate said, laughing. "Do you want to share mine?"

John shook his head, reaching for his fork. "Nah, I've eaten much worse, this'll be fine."

"Despite my dad being in the military, I never got to do anything fun, like eat MRE's, or fire the big guns. All I got to do was move around a lot."

"Well, I did that and my mom wasn't even in the military," John said ruefully, taking another forkful of food. "You know how to shoot though, right?"

Kate shrugged, staring down at her spaghetti. "Not really, I know how to hold one and take the safety off, that's pretty much it."

"I'll teach you, you're going to need to know how to handle everything they've got stockpiled down here."

Kate put down her fork, her appetite disappearing at the reminder of what their lives were going to become. Her expression was pensive as she stared across the table at him. "Did you ever just want to run away from it all, just not be who they said you were going to be?"

He laughed mirthlessly. "Every single day of my life." Reaching for his glass, he took a deep swallow of the juice she'd found on one of the shelves. "We even tried to change things, but we never could stop it, just delay it happening."

"So how did you manage to stay sane, knowing what you do?" Kate pressed, toying with her napkin.

"You think I'm sane?" He asked, laughing.

"I'm serious, John. I don't know if I can handle this," she said softly, blowing out a deep breath.

"You can because you have to, we all do. If we sit back and do nothing, Skynet wins. You asked me how I stayed sane. I learned, everything I possibly could about how to beat it. Weapons, computers, you name it, I studied it."

"Has it helped?"

"We're here, aren't we? My mom had this saying, the first Resistance fighter that came back to help her told it to her. No fate but what we make. Humanity was destined for Judgment Day the day the very first computer was dreamed up and no matter how much I fought and tried to change things, that destiny was always going to come true. So now, we have to do the best we can with what we've got and take down Skynet if we ever want to have a semblance of normalcy again."

"The one that came back, did you know him?"

John's gaze flicked to the wall and he shook his head. "He died saving my mom from the Terminator." His gaze returned to hers, "and he was my father."

"What?"

John nodded, setting his fork down and threading his fingers together. "I sent him back, knowing that he was going to die, but if I didn't, I wouldn't exist." He untangled his fingers and reached for the juice, finishing it off, trying to avoid the look of shocked horror on her face.

"He's from the future?"

John shook his head. "Near as I figure it, he was born a few years ago and somehow survives the bombs, ending up fighting with the Resistance. I'll meet him when he's a teenager and send him back when he's in his early thirties."

"This is beyond trippy," she said, trying for levity in the terse silence of the dining area.

"Welcome to my world," John said, pushing back his chair and rising. He began gathering the trash, piling it carefully atop each other. "I've never told anyone that before," he said softly, placing the silverware just so on the top of the pile. "About my dad, I mean."

Kate stood and placed her hand atop his, offering him a tremulous smile. "I'm honored," she said softly. "I should tell you a deep dark secret in return."

He lifted his head, staring into her eyes, trying to determine if she was teasing him or not.

"That night, in Kripke's basement?"

"Yeah?"

"You were the first boy I ever kissed."

He laughed and the thick tension filling the room eased immediately. "You were my first too."

"Stop, or next you'll be telling me I was your only."

He shook his head, picking up the pile of plates and silverware. "Not quite, there was one more besides you."

"But I was better, right?" she said, winking at him.

"Infinitely," he replied drolly, tossing a smile back over his shoulder as he walked towards the kitchen.

~*~

Kate stood in one of the bedrooms of the first apartment in the hallway, staring down at the big bed in front of her. She felt rather than heard John enter the room and spun around, her eyes wide in her pale face. "I uh found the clothes."

"Good, I need to shower, I feel like yesterday's roadkill," John said, stepping around her and reaching for the pile of clothing on the bed.

"I..." She shook her head and tried again. "I don't want to be alone in here." The words left her in a rush and a deep blush stained her cheeks, spreading down below the t-shirt she wore to bloom across her chest.

"Neither do I," he said, setting the clothes back down and walking over to her. He reached for her hands, wincing a bit at their coldness. "I think we both need the companionship."

Lifting her head, her eyes searched his face. "I don't want to have sex with you."

He smiled, rubbing his thumb over the back of her hand. "That's ok; I'm not really up for sex at the moment."

She laughed, and if it was a bit on the hysterical side, he managed to ignore it. "Just sleep then?"

John nodded, his thumb still stroking over her skin, marveling at how soft it was. "Just sleep."

Kate inhaled deeply and smiled. "Good. I hope there's more than one shower, because I feel just about as gross as you do."

"There's a whole row of them, each one with it's own door and everything."

"I'll need to look at your leg before we go to sleep, I noticed you limping even more than before."

He shook his head, chuckling. "Yes, ma'am." Releasing her fingers, he turned around and gathered the clothing she'd found for him. "Ready?"

Kate reached for her own pile of clothing and nodded. "Let's go."

/lj-cut


	2. Chapter 2

Two

That first night had been hard, sleep being elusive for most of the night, but John finally managed to get comfortable enough to drop off, one hand on a gun, the other threaded through with Kate's as they lay side by side on the king sized bed. He'd changed the codes to the door as best he could; tossing a die to generate a random number and picking object names from several languages. It wouldn't last long, but it might buy them enough time to get a few shots off if Skynet did send anything down here after them.

Kate dozed fitfully, crying out several times in her sleep as nightmares invaded her dreams. Every time she whimpered, he squeezed her hand and whispered softly in her ear until she quieted, finally snuggling tightly against him, one leg draped over his waist, her hand resting on his shoulder.

The radio squawking woke him, the voice on the other end filled with panic. John leapt out of the bed and raced down the hallway to the computer bank, slipping the headset on to try to not wake Kate.

"Crystal Peak here, go ahead."

"They came, just like you said – machines, hundreds of them!"

John pressed the button on the mic slowly, trying to find some measure of calm before he spoke. "This is Crystal Peak, identify yourself please."

"Senior Airman Duggan, Mountain Home AFB," the voice crackled in return, still shaky with panic but getting stronger as his training resurfaced.

"Airman Duggan, this is John Connor at Crystal Peak, I need a sitrep."

"Machines, Sir, hundreds of them, all over the base. They just started shooting at us!"

"Try to remain calm, Airman," John said, reaching for the notebook he'd left up here yesterday evening. He carefully jotted down the contact information before pushing the button to speak once more. "How many are still alive?"

"Unknown, Sir. They took out the HQ building with a SAM and then just started shooting anything that moved. I was in the hangar bay, trying to figure out what we had left when the world just went nuts."

John shook his head. Nothing his mother had told him had prepared him for this moment. Yes, he was going to lead the resistance, but either Kyle Reese hadn't told her how he did it for her to pass along the information, or she just hadn't known. Either way, he was screwed. Defeat settled in his gut, churning nastily. He didn't know what to say, where to send this poor bastard where he'd be safe. His finger hovered over the button to activate the mic.

Kate's hand rested on his shoulder, squeezing lightly. She set a steaming cup of coffee before him and gently lifted the headphones from his ears. "You can do this, I believe in you," she said simply, sitting down next to him.

Taking a deep breath, he pushed the talk button. "Ok, Airman Duggan, this is what I want you to do. I want you to gather up anyone left alive and make for the mountains. Get as high and as far in as you can, the machines will have a hard time getting to you up there, they aren't designed for the terrain. Take as much food and weapons as you can carry and once you get there, contact me on this frequency. Understood?"

"Yes… yes Sir. Pardon Sir, can I ask your rank?"

John looked over at Kate helplessly. She reached for the mic, depressing the button and speaking firmly into it. "Do you want to live, Sr. Airman Duggan?"

Static filled the air for several long moments before the radio crackled to life once more. "Yes ma'am, I do."

Kate nodded, activating the mic again. "Good, then listen to this man and you have a chance to do so. He is John Connor and he is the resistance."

"Pardon ma'am, resistance to what?"

John took the mic back. "The machines."

~*~

John looked at Kate over the rim of his coffee mug, the steam curling up to tickle his nose. He hated the taste, but knew he needed it to keep going, running on the little sleep he did manage to get in between Kate's nightmares.

"Thank you," he said, setting the coffee down. The radio had lapsed into silence and he turned to stare at the board, trying to will one of the lights on. There had to be more survivors out there, the bombs couldn't have gotten everyone.

Kate inclined her head. "You're welome, it's the least I could do after you saved my life and all."

A ghost of a smile drifted across his face. "I didn't mean to wake you."

She shrugged, getting up and stretching. "I can't wallow in pity for the rest of my life. This is the future and things need to get done. We won't be able to stay here forever; Skynet knows about the bunker, I'm sure it's going to send scouts out sooner or later."

"You're right," John said, reaching for his coffee, gaze straying to the board once more.

"I'm going to go inventory, see what we've got. You stay here and try to find more survivors."

"Ok," he said, turning his chair around and reaching for his notebook. "Take a gun with you; you never know if there's anything back there."

Kate nodded, shaking her head. "I wouldn't have thought of it."

He turned the chair around to look at her, his face set in harsh lines. "It's got to become a part of you, Kate. As natural as breathing is."

Her gaze dropped briefly to the floor before finding his again. "I know, just takes some getting used to."

"Be thankful you have the time to get used to it," he said harshly. "Those people out there, they don't and they'll die learning."

~*~

Kate stared at John, his harsh words making her flush, realizing that this was the man they'd follow, the one that laid bare the truth, no matter how much it hurt. This was the man that would give humanity a chance to live again – to thrive. Spinning on her heel, she grabbed the gun that was sitting on the edge of the desk and checked to make sure the safety was on before tucking it into the back of her pants. John had promised to teach her how to shoot and she sighed, wishing that she'd taken her father up on his offer to take her to the range and learn weaponry.

"Too late for that," she said softly, walking down the hallway. It was too late for a lot of things, but John was right, she had a luxury that the poor people out in the rest of the world didn't – time - time to learn how to fight, time to come to grips with the world that was now, time to grieve for what was and let it go. Straightening her shoulders, she turned into the enormous storage room, looking for a pad to make notes with.

~*~

The radio flared to life several times, each time a panicked voice on the other end asking for help. John did what he could, telling them to get to remote areas, promising to be there to receive calls once they made it to relative safety. Each call took just a little bit more out of him so that by the time lunch rolled around, he was beyond exhausted.

The smell of food roused him and he turned to find Kate carrying a tray, which she set before him. Bending down, she stared at him critically. "You need sleep," she said, standing up again.

"I'll sleep later," he mumbled, reaching for the fork on the tray as his stomach rumbled loudly.

"No, you'll sleep once you're done eating," she said, folding her arms across her chest. "You won't do anyone any good if you exhaust yourself to the point of incapacity."

"I don't need a mother," he muttered under his breath, lifting a forkful of turkey and mashed potatoes to his lips.

"I'm not trying to be yours," Kate said archly, lifting her brow. "But someone's got to look out for you while you try to take care of the whole world. You're no use to any of us dead."

He shrugged his shoulders. It was going to take getting used to, this having someone around. He'd been alone for so long, even when his mother was around, she kept her own counsel, not wanting to get too close. Sometimes, back when he was younger, he used to envy those kids whose mother's hugged them all the time, or baked cookies and cakes for them. Sarah Connor just wasn't that kind of mom. Her one goal in life had been to keep him safe, and that overrode everything else, including any maternal instincts she might've had about nurturing him. She'd loved him, he was certain of that, and she'd prepared him, far better that most for what had come to past, but every once in awhile, it would've been nice to get a hug, or have her be concerned that he wasn't getting enough sleep, or enough to eat.

Kate reminded him a lot of Sarah, in many ways they were similar, but he found himself liking the ones in which they weren't more. Kate wasn't afraid to show emotion, or fear. When he'd held her last night, she'd clung to him like she was drowning, quieting only when she had her cheek pressed tightly against his chest, listening to the steady thumping of his heart. The Terminator had said they were husband and wife, a unit fighting against the machines together, but he'd never said if they'd loved each other just as fiercely. Looking at her now, walking away from him, he thought maybe they did.


	3. Chapter 3

"Morning."

Kate turned around to find John standing in the doorway of the infirmary, a tired smile on his face. She put the vials she'd been looking at down and walked towards him, brushing some hair out of his eyes. "Morning. Did you finally manage to get some sleep?"

He nodded. "Some, the radio went off again about three am. Another group made it into the Sawtooth Mountains and there are a few groups in South America that have taken over an old Contra bunker."

She motioned to the exam chair against the wall and he sat down gracelessly, flopping onto it and leaning back, his eyes closing. Kate sat down on the swivel stool at his feet and began to examine his leg. It'd healed nicely in the three months they'd been here, but he still had twinges of pain from time to time, especially when he let himself get run down. "Any idea of numbers?" she asked, lifting his pant leg and drawing down his sock to look at his ankle.

"Not enough," he said wearily, scrubbing his face with his hand. "The machines have started cleaning up and doing patrols."

"Life will go on," she said, fixing his sock and pulling his pant leg down again. She reached for his hand and squeezed it lightly, threading their fingers together. "If we can survive the Ice Age, we can survive the machines."

John sat up, giving her a wry grin. "The Ice Age wasn't actively trying to exterminate us, Kate. The machines are." He slid his legs over the side, but didn't let go of her hand.

Kate looked down at their joined fingers before lifting her gaze to his face. "And we'll fight them, to our dying breath," she said fiercely. Her expression relaxed and she rubbed his knuckles with her thumb before releasing his hand and spinning around on the stool to grab the paperwork she'd been doing when he'd come in. "There's some coffee in the mess and I picked some apples yesterday afternoon."

"Coffee sounds great," John said, rising off the exam table. "We'll hit the range after I get some; get you started on the rifles."

"I'll meet you there in thirty and make sure you eat and take some of the vitamins I left out for you. I don't want you to get sick."

He smiled at her, his hand resting lightly on her shoulder. "Yes dear," he said, squeezing her shoulder. Kate laughed and swatted at him as he sauntered away. Over the past few months, he'd begun teasing her when she mothered him. John Connor, she was discovering, was mischievous and deeply caring. If she'd had to choose someone to go through this with, she couldn't have asked for a better companion. Their skills complimented each other's perfectly and he patiently taught her everything she would need to know to be able to survive, spending hours teaching her how to shoot and defend herself. He held her when they slept, keeping the nightmares at bay. He never pushed, never asked for more than she was ready to give, knowing she needed time to grieve. It still hurt, but she was practical. Scott was dead, a casualty of the machines. John was alive and life had to go on.

He'd always intrigued her, back in junior high. He'd been something of a loner, never really fitting into the flow of things. She'd never been attracted to bad boys like her friends had been, never really understanding the attraction, but something about John Connor had piqued her interest. Now, years later, she could honestly say that the attraction she'd felt for him then had not only returned, but grown.

Lost in thought, she stared at the wall, seeing not the sterile, utilitarian grey of the bunker, but rather a dark basement, lit with a spinning disco light and filled with teenagers. Music blared and some of the couples were dancing, but the majority was sitting on any surface that would hold them, kissing like there was no tomorrow. One couple sat on the floor, leaning against the wall, the girl's long red hair gleaming under the flashing lights, her companion's dark brown hair nearly covering his eyes.

"So," she said, twisting her fingers nervously. This was the first party she'd been to, dragged along by her friends, eager to experience the rumored goings on that happened at Mike Kripke's house.

"Do you really want to talk?" he asked, moving closer to her.

"No, uh… I mean…" Her voice trailed off as he leaned even closer, close enough for her to see the dark blue eyes beneath the fringe of hair that usually obscured them. Close enough to feel his breath against her skin. She licked her lips, shivers dancing down her spine, her stomach dropping to her knees - closer, his lips barely brushing against hers, his hand sliding hesitantly against her waist, soft at first, the kiss deepened as she leaned towards him, her hand curling around the heated skin of his neck. Hot licks of pleasure skimmed through her, tickling her stomach, dampness growing between her thighs as his touch got bolder – a palm sliding across her breast, her nipple pushing hard and tight against the soft lace cup of her bra. Lying back, guided only by the heat coursing through her, she felt him settle between her thighs, the hard ridge of his erection rubbing against her through their jeans. Mouths eating at each other, tongues sliding and slipping, tension building tightly between her thighs, the friction of their bodies rubbing against each other making her want to throw her head back and scream as desire mounted.

"Kate?"

Sitting up straight, she nearly jumped out of her chair at the sound of John's voice. Cheeks heated a fiery red; she turned in the chair, not quite meeting his gaze. "Sorry, I was just lost in a memory."

John stared at her silently for a few moments before his lips creased in a wide grin. "Looks like it was a good one."

Kate rose and flashed him a brilliant smile. "It was," she said, making sure to brush against him as she went out the door, her body tingling with remembered, unfulfilled desire.

~*~

The shooting range was what had originally been intended as a gymnasium. John walked over to the rack of rifles against the wall and began readying one as Kate buckled on a bulletproof vest and slid the protective glasses over her eyes. Turning around, he handed the weapon to her before reaching for his own vest and goggles. He watched as Kate walked to the small table they'd set up in the middle of the gym, admiring the sleek curve of her ass in the dark black pants they'd found to wear. It was getting harder and harder to deny what he felt as the days passed. He knew she needed time, but waking up with her curled around him every night, her leg pressed up against his throbbing cock was beginning to take its toll. Jerking off in the shower had ceased to satisfy him several months ago and just the scent of her shampoo was enough to give him a raging hard on. Swallowing hard, he firmly thrust any thoughts of her perfect ass from his head, lest she feel the effects when he stood behind her.

Kate lifted the rifle and turned to look over her shoulder at him, a soft smile on her face. She'd taken to shooting like a duck to water and was almost as good as he was with the small arms. Rifles had been a struggle for her, her arm strength not up to par but it was getting better every day, especially with all the time he had her spend lifting weights. He walked towards her, taking his customary place at her back, fitting their bodies together like pieces of a puzzle, his arms coming up to cage her body, her ass nestled in the cradle of his hips. Swallowing a groan at the feel of her in his arms, he leaned forward, his lips nearly brushing her ear. "Remember, it's got a kick," he murmured, warm breath skating across the shell of her ear. He felt her shiver and took a deep breath, one hand sliding down to her hip, pulling her more tightly against him. His body took matters into its own hands, his cock growing steadily harder as she got settled, her gaze on the paper targets he'd drawn at the other end of the long room.

He held his free hand ready to catch the rifle if she needed extra help. "Slow and easy," he said softly, shifting against her, his cock throbbing as it rubbed against the knit of his boxers.

"Slow and easy," she repeated, lifting the rifle and taking aim.

"Widen your stance," he all but growled and Kate shifted accordingly, her thighs bracing against his. He could smell the heat of her arousal and his cock tightened further. No way she couldn't feel it, her ass was pressed so tightly against him. He flexed his fingers against her hip, wanting to toss the gun aside and kiss her like he'd been dying to for the past few months.

Kate pressed her ass against his as hard as she could, rubbing against the thick ridge of his cock as her finger caressed the trigger. "Firing," she said breathily as she squeezed the trigger. The bullets flew from the gun with a loud thwacking sound, the stock of the rifle jamming hard against her shoulder.

John watched the bullets hit the target, a tight circle blossoming where the cpu would be on a terminator. "You okay?" he asked as she lowered the rifle, clearing the chamber before laying it on the table.

Kate half turned and nodded, her gaze fastening on his lips. John licked them self consciously, his body on fire with need. "I'm good, but I don't think I want to continue."

"Any particular reason?" he asked, trying to keep his mind on what she was saying and not revel in the way she felt in his arms.

Lifting the safety goggles from her face, she set them down on the table next to the rifle before turning fully to face him. "This." Lifting her hands, she cupped his face before leaning in and brushing her lips against his. John reacted instinctively, his hands tightening on her hip, drawing her against his body as his mouth opened against hers. His tongue teased at the seam of her lips, begging entrance. Kate opened her mouth and he deepened the kiss immediately, the hand that had helped her hold the rifle going to her shoulder to hold her steady as he licked and sucked, kissing her for all he was worth.

He managed to pull back, breathing unsteady as he stared down into the face he'd come to know so well. Her eyes slowly opened and a slow grin spread across her lips, her cheeks flushed with desire. "Kate, are you sure?"

Lifting her hand away from his cheek, she slid it through the thick strands of dark brown at his temples. "I am. I can't change the past, it's gone and we're alive. I need to feel alive again," she said, tears gathering in her eyes. "I want you to make me feel alive again, John."

"Kate."

His voice was like rough velvet and she shook her head, pressing a finger against his lips. "I want you, John Connor. I want you like I wanted you back in Kripke's basement all those years ago. I want to feel your hands on me, making me scream with pleasure. I need to touch you, to kiss you, to know that we're both alive and we're going to be together, for as long as we can."

His eyes searched her face and then so fast that she didn't even see him move, he was kissing her again, backing her up until she was pressed against the wall, his hand sliding down her thigh, lifting it up to wrap around his waist as he kissed her senseless. The world narrowed to the feel of his body pressed tightly against her own, kissing each other like they'd been apart for a million years and had just managed to find one another again. Kate moaned softly as his hand found her breast, palming the slight weight, his thumb brushing over the tight nub of her nipple.

"John, ah, God that feels good!" she whispered against his neck as his lips trailed down her cheek, finally finding the place where her neck and shoulder met, sucking hard and marking her. She felt every pull like it was attached to her center and heat spiraled wickedly through her, demanding satisfaction. Cupping his face in her hands, she lifted his chin. "There's a huge bed in our quarters, much more comfy than the floor in here."

His cheeks flooded with color and he stepped back, shaking his head. "Kate, I'm such an ass!"

Kate reached for him, wrapping her arms tightly around her waist and kissing him to make him stop the self recriminations. "I want you John and I don't care if it's in here or in there."

Her words slowly sank in and after several seconds, a shy grin tugged at his lips. "Bed would be more comfortable," he said softly.

Kate reached for his hand, threading their fingers together. "Let's go make good use of it then," she said, leading him out of the gym and down the hallway towards the living quarters.


	4. Chapter 4

Kate was a bundle of nerves as she walked down the long hallway towards the sleeping quarters. Her fingers were linked loosely with John's, their hips bumping as they walked. She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye and caught him staring at her, his expression anxious. Slowing, she turned in towards him, laying her free hand on his chest. "John."

He stopped instantly, eyes searching her face. "You changed your mind?"

She smiled, shaking her head. Leaning closer, she nuzzled beneath his chin. "Never," she breathed against his rapidly beating pulse.

"Thank fucking god," he groaned, arms banding tightly around her, drawing her closer as his lips sought hers in a deep kiss that stole her breath. He backed them up to the wall, one hand sliding down to her thigh, lifting it up so that he could press closer, the heavy ridge of his erection sliding against her in delicious friction. His other hand rose to cup her cheek, angling her face slightly. Lips, tongues and teeth danced and teased, her hands sliding over his chest and unfastening the buttons on his shirt. She needed to touch him, feel his skin burning beneath her fingertips. Crisp, curling hair met her questing hands and she moaned his name as he thrust against her, nearly making her come.

"More," she breathed, teasing the flat nipples under her fingers, her hips rocking up to meet his.

"Oh Kate, that feels good," John groaned as he bent, lifting her fully against him, her legs wrapping tightly around his waist. He stumbled down the hall, reaching out to lean against the wall every so often for balance. He nearly fell twice before making it into the room they'd chosen as their own, falling onto the bed in a tangle of limbs.

Lifting himself up by his elbows, his lower body was cradled between her thighs. "You are so beautiful," he whispered softly, the reverent tone in his voice nearly making her cry. His finger traced lightly over her cheekbones and ghosted over her full lips, his eyes following the path his finger took. Brushing her hair away from her face, he bent towards her again, their lips meeting softly.

She smiled against his lips, sliding her hands up his chest, pushing his shirt open and down his arms. Lifting first one and then the other arm, he shook it off, shaking as her nails scraped gently down his chest. "You don't know how long I've been thinking of doing this," she said, leaning up to press a trail of hot, wet kisses down the length of his neck. His hiss of pleasure as her teeth grazed against his skin emboldened her and she closed her lips over his pulse, sucking the skin into the heat of her mouth.

"Kate." His voice was deep and rough and it made things deep inside tighten with heady need. Pulling back, she wriggled a bit, trying to get her t-shirt out of the way so he could touch her the way she'd been fantasizing about him doing all morning. The second her tshirt rode up enough to expose her breasts, John's head dipped, covering one tight nipple through the thin lace, his tongue laving over it. The combination of wet heat and friction made her head spin.

"Too many clothes," she panted, hands scrabbling against the waistband of his cargo pants. Ripping open the button, she slid her hand inside, fingers curling around the velvety steel of his cock.

"Keep that up and this'll be over before it's begun," he growled, flexing his hips and thrusting into her hand.

Kate laughed, and licked her lips. "Get naked then, because I want you inside of me... now."

John stared at her, his big hands cupping her cheeks once more. "What about protection?" His cheeks flushed and his eyes shifted to a spot somewhere over her left shoulder. "I don't want to get you pregnant."

Lifting her hand, she turned his face back towards her. "It's okay. I have birth control." Lifting her arm, she pointed to the small lump on her bicep. "It's good for five years, I'd just had it done the day before..." Tears filled her eyes and she trailed off, unable to say the words.

"Kate," he said, his voice thick with emotion, "We don't have to do this, you obviously aren't ready-"

"No!" she said forcefully, cutting him off. "I want to do this." Her eyes searched his as her hand rose to slide through his disheveled hair. "I want you, this. I am ready." Leaning up, she kissed him, her tongue teasing against the seam of his lips, her arms pulling him back down so that he covered her body with his own. He kissed her back desperately, almost as if he was drowning and she was his air. Kate slid her hands down his back, pushing at his pants, her nails sliding restlessly over the skin she uncovered.

"Wait a sec," he said, breaking the kiss and pushing up off the bed. Kate felt a rush of cool air against her skin in his absence and she shivered slightly. He reached for the blanket folded neatly at the end of the bed and handed it to her. "Not that I want you to cover up, but you look cold," he said, shucking off his pants and underwear. He looked down at his socks and shrugged, pulling them off one by one before rejoining her on the bed.

Kate took the opportunity to finish removing the rest of her clothes, and tossing them aside before lifting up the edge of the blanket and winking at him. "Hurry up; I'm freezing without you under here."

John laughed, sliding beneath the blanket. "You're always cold, Kate. I swear, I go to bed with a blanket over me but I end up with it wrapped around you."

She laughed, running her hand lightly over his chest. "But I'm usually wrapped around you as well."

He brushed a kiss against the tip of her nose. "I didn't say it was a bad thing." His hands slid along her ribcage. "Now, where were we?"

Kate grinned at him, shifting and tugging him so that he was once more cradled between her thighs. "Right about here, I think."

John shook his head, reaching between them to brush the head of his cock against her entrance. "I think it was more like here," he said thickly.

"You're right." Her voice had gone sketchy with need and she arched her hips, rubbing against him like a cat. "It was there."

He held himself above her, his arms nearly shaking with the effort. "You're sure?"

Her hand slid down his chest and curled around the heavy length of his cock, guiding it further into her body. "Positive." He surged forward, filling her with one long, thick stroke and her eyes nearly rolled back into her head at the feeling of being taken completely.

"God that feels so good," he groaned against her shoulder, brushing a kiss against her leaping pulse.

"More," she breathed, lifting her hips. He pulled back slowly, drawing out the pleasure as he began to stroke, steady, even thrusts that pushed her back down against the mattress, her body on fire. Lifting her legs, she wrapped them around his back and met him thrust for thrust, her nails digging into the smooth skin of his back. Time lost all meaning as the world narrowed to the feel of his body moving against hers, the soft slap of skin meeting skin and their mingled pants filling the air.

"Oh god, Kate!" he shouted suddenly, tension building at the base of his spine. He wasn't going to last long, not with her feeling so amazing wrapped tightly around his cock. Reaching between them, he pinched her clit as he surged forward one last time, buried to the hilt.

"Yes, oh god, yes," she panted, completion rushing through her like a tidal wave, leaving her shaking. Pulling him down atop her, she buried her face in his shoulder, breathing in his scent.

After they'd both caught their breath, John leaned up and cupped her face with his hands, staring deeply into her eyes. "You are so amazingly beautiful," he whispered, thumb stroking over her cheekbones.

A deep flush stole over Kate's cheeks and she couldn't quite hold his gaze. "You're just saying that because I'm the only girl in here with you."

"Kate," he said, frowning, drawing her gaze back to him. "I mean it and not just because this was all supposed to happen. I think I fell in love with you all those years ago in Kripke's basement." Her eyes dropped to his shoulders and he sighed, moving off of her to lie next to her side. Lifting his hand, he rested it over his eyes. "You were one of the few people who would talk to me and not act like it was some big deal, talking to the freak."

Kate turned on her side and rested her hand on his chest. "You weren't a freak, John."

He laughed without mirth. "I was. My mother was in an insane asylum, my father from the future was dead and I was living with foster parents who had no idea how to deal with me, so they let me do whatever I wanted. All my life I'd been told I was going to be the savior of the human race and all I cared about was using the skills my mother had given me to get whatever I wanted."

"You were a teenager, it's not like any of us think rationally at that age."

He turned to look at her. "You weren't out hacking ATM's or cutting class, were you?"

Kate frowned, biting her lip. "No."

"See, I was a freak," he said, turning his face away from her once more and staring up at the ceiling.

"Just because you were acting out doesn't make you a freak. I'm sure that if Kripke could've hacked ATM's, he'd have been doing the same thing, or any of the other popular kids for that matter."

He sighed again and the silence stretched almost endlessly between them. "I remember the first time I saw you," he said softly. "I was walking up the stairs after Janelle registered me and you were standing outside of the Chemistry classroom, talking to the teacher about tutoring some of the students who were falling behind. I thought that maybe I'd take Chemistry just to see if I could have you tutor me."

"You didn't," she said, laughing. "You were so good in Chemistry; I remember that, you probably could've tutored me."

"I just knew how to build bombs," he said, chuckling.

"I thought you were just one of those super smart kids who didn't know how to deal with us lesser humans."

He turned to look at her before bursting out laughing. "You lesser humans? No way would I ever include you in that group. You were valedictorian, weren't you? Four point plus gpa, regular college and vet school in four years instead of the usual six?"

Kate flushed and dropped her gaze to the bed. "I liked school."

"That wasn't an insult, sweetheart. It's pretty damn impressive is what it is. Not many people could've done it."

Kate looked up and saw him staring at her. She began to laugh. "I just wanted to be a vet, and not have to follow my dad around from base to base anymore." Her expression sobered. "I hadn't been there long before you got there, you know."

"Really? You seemed pretty comfortable for being the new girl."

She shook her head. "I'd done it so many times that it became second nature. Dad got promoted pretty quickly, so we moved a lot. That was my third junior high in two years."

"Ouch."

"Yeah, didn't help that I was smart and pretty much destroyed the curve in any class I was in. I purposely got bad grades at one school just to fit in with the popular crowd."

He laughed. "Did it work?"

Kate shook her head. "My dad found out and had me transferred to another school."

"My mom would've just told me I was being stupid and to get over myself."

"I got a huge lecture and was grounded for a few weeks, but you know, I'm glad he did it. I finally realized that people were going to like me or not and nothing I did was really going to change that fact."

"Heavy lesson to learn in junior high."

"But a necessary one. I wouldn't have made it through college in three years otherwise."

He brushed a stray wisp of hair away from her cheek. "Why don't you like compliments?"

She flushed, looking away again. "They make me uncomfortable."

"Did you not get many of them growing up?"

"Sort of. I was always the dependable one. My parents knew I wasn't going to do drugs or fall for the wrong kind of boy-"

"A boy like me?"

"A boy exactly like you, who it turns out, is exactly the kind of boy I like the most," she said, winking at him. "But my dad was really big on responsibility. I was smart, so I had a responsibility to develop that and use it to the best of my ability. Looks and such weren't important, so they weren't really talked about."

"I'm going to keep complimenting you, Kate," he said, lifting her hand and threading their fingers together. "Because I think it's important. You should know how I feel and know how important you are to me."

"You didn't get many compliments growing up either, did you?"

His gaze drifted to her shoulder. "I knew my mother loved me; that should've been enough."

She lifted her free hand to cup his cheek, turning his face back to her. "But it wasn't. You are important to me, John Connor. Without you, I wouldn't be here, safe from the machines and the nuclear fallout."

"Did I really save you, or did I just condemn you to suffer more?" His voice was thick and deep and filled with a myriad of emotion. "Like I condemn everyone who gets close to me?"

"Stop, stop it right now. I will not allow you to persecute yourself anymore. You didn't make this happen, you are caught up in circumstance just as much as the rest of us. The only difference is that you had some advance warning that this was coming and maybe have the tools to help humanity survive. It wasn't your fault, do you hear me? IT WASN'T YOUR FAULT!"

He stared at her, eyes wide as she shouted at him. The thick, heavy burden of guilt that he carried constantly began to lift a little, lightening his heart. She leaned closer to him, brushing her lips across his. "I love you John Connor."

He pulled her closer, tucking his face into her shoulder, his voice thick with emotion. "I love you too, Kate Brewster."

~*~

Later, standing in the mess making dinner, she thought about all the things he'd said. Turning, she glanced over her shoulder at him. "How did you know I finished college and Vet school so quickly?"

He had the grace to flush. "I talked to the Terminator while you slept. He had your complete dossier."

"Oh," she said, turning back to the microwave.

"Does it bother you?"

She glanced over her shoulder again. "No, it's just kind of weird to think that my entire life is stored somewhere in some memory bank. It's surreal almost. I never thought of myself as anyone special, or that I'd be remembered for doing what I did."

"You're special to me, and you obviously have a part to play in whatever is coming," he said, getting up and walking up behind her. His hands settled on her shoulders. "Even if no one else remembered you, I would."

She leaned her cheek against his hand. "I guess it's just strange to think about, that people in the future know who I am and what I did as a child and a teenager." She spun around, her cheeks flaming. "Do you think they know what happened in the basement?"

John laughed, kissing her swiftly. "What happened in the basement stays in the basement."

Kate swatted lightly at his arm. "You sound like one of those stupid commercials, you brat. I mean really, do we want our kids to know that we nearly had sex in Kripke's basement?"

The smile faded from his face and he slid his arms around her waist. "Kids?" he asked in a voice that was not quite steady.

Kate shrugged, and then smiled. "Well, that's usually the logical progression, isn't it? Marriage, kids."

"It was before, but now? I don't know."

"Do you want children?"

He sighed, leaning his forehead against hers. "With you? Absolutely. In this world, right now? Absolutely not. I don't think it's fair to bring a child into this world, where there's no guarantee that its parents are going to be there to raise it."

"But without children, humanity will die out."

"If we can't beat the machines, we'll die as well. Standard catch 22." His eyes searched her face. "Do you want children?"

"Eventually, yes. I got the birth control because I wasn't ready for the responsibility, and now I'm thankful for it, because it's one less thing for me to worry about."

"It's not foolproof."

"But it's enough, for now. I'm not going to stop having sex with you, if that's what you're implying," she said, frowning. "Unless you don't want to have sex with me…"

"I'd have to be dead for that to happen. I want to make love to you as much as you'll let me, Kate."

He gave her a cheesy grin and was rewarded with another swat, this time on his ass. "Okay, so we're not going to stop having sex-"

"Making love," he interrupted. "What we just did was make love, not something as mundane as have sex."

Her smile was luminous. "We're not going to stop _making love,_ so I guess we'll deal with whatever happens, just like we have with everything else."

"Agreed, now can we eat, I'm starving?"

Kate laughed, lifting on her toes to kiss his cheek. "You're always starving, are your legs hollow or something?"

He swatted her ass as he brushed by her to open the microwave. "Nope, just a growing boy."

Her eyebrow lifted. "Not a boy, at least from where I'm standing."

He laughed loudly, grabbing the meal from the microwave. "Careful, I might just take you back to bed and forget about eating."

Kate snorted. "I thought you were starving."

He stopped in front of her, staring down at her with hungry eyes. "Food isn't the only thing I'm starving for, sweetheart."


End file.
